"Listen to yourself, and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God." -Maya Angelou

 

May 2014

 

 

When I came to Texas A&M, I thought classes would be easy, I thought friendships would be easy, and the thought that balancing everything in my life would pose a potential challenge, literally made me laugh. I had never struggled in school, my friends were in all of my organizations with me, and I was in a leadership role in every available place. College would be a cinch, or so I thought.

 

My first three weeks of school, I’m fairly sure I took at least three different personality tests in one of my intro classes for business honors. While my friends were all getting results that said they were leaders, and competitors, and people who could stand on top of anything they joined, my results were telling me that I was good with people – that I was a comforter, a loyal friend, and that at the end of the day, I was just really good at sparkling. After going through two semesters at A&M, I now understand how valuable these strengths are. It is a very good thing to be a people person, especially in business, but at the time they made me stop taking myself seriously, and my grades and my self-esteem suffered because of it. After coming home winter break, and being reminded of who I was and more importantly, whose I was, every day, I came back second semester ready to take on the world the way I always had. I took myself seriously, and took the commitments I made to myself seriously. I got to know my professors, and my classmates, and stopped viewing everyone around me as competition, but instead as people I could learn from. I poured my heart and soul into the things I was truly passionate about, because I was excited about them and because I was good at my passions. Needless to say, I am looking back at second semester from a much different, much better place than I was first semester.

 

If you looked at my StrengthsQuest, it would tell you that I am a WOO, I have positivity, communication, achiever, includer and responsibility up and running the majority of the time. If you looked at my Meyers-Brigg test, it would tell you that I am an ENFJ, a loyal friend and a rose-colored glasses wearing, people-lover at heart. And if you were to ask me what color I am, I would have to tell you that I am orange, a loud and proud leader and the most outgoing member of a group. I could even tell you my top five values: faith, compassion, openness, achievement, and responsibility. However, if you took the chance to get to know me, if you were to look past the words and strengths and human-inflicted labels, I hope you would find someone who values humanity, someone who strives for the best from herself and those around her, someone who values education and believes in God – someone whose main goal is for others to find the joy in the world that she finds every day. Yes, all of those labels and tests will probably provide quite a bit of insight into my character, and upon reflection most of them ring quite true, but I have learned this semester that we are more defined by our actions and the way we treat others than we are by the categories that we so quickly and willingly place ourselves in.

 

When I was in third grade, I decided I was going to law school. This is a dream I have carried with me ever since, and one I am still working towards. However, beyond law school, all I know is that I want to travel the world and make a huge impact. I came into A&M pursuing leadership positions. This journey started when I joined the FLO, MSC FISH. One of the questions I asked our leadership team was how to make an impact on Texas A&M. I used to think the answer to this question was to meet, and influence, as many people as possible. This year I learned that truly making an impact is being as genuine as you can be with everyone you meet. An impact for me now doesn’t necessarily mean that I need to run the world, or be on TV, and it certainly does not mean I have to be best friends with everyone I meet. For me, this now looks like making as much of a difference as I can in the lives of the people I come into contact with, and doing my best at what I do best (which is still a learning process).

 

This year has been all about balance for me. Balancing classes, balancing relationships, and learning what balance actually looks like. Part of this experience has led me to question what I want for myself when it comes to a career someday. I know that I will eventually want work-life balance, but right now I love my business classes, and I love the work I am doing in them. Because of this, I am excited for the first few years in any job I have, and the opportunity to pour as much of myself into it as I can. I mentioned earlier that I want to travel the world in whatever job I have, and right now I would love for that to look like travelling to a different place as often as possible. I want to see the world because I love travel, but also because I want to constantly move and meet new people and learn new things. I am at my best when I am being productive and working hard towards something.

 

I also mentioned earlier that I love people, which I do. I am an extrovert in nature, and I draw most of my energy from being around other people. Because of this, I know I could never work in a setting that would force me to be alone the majority of the time. One of the things I excelled at in my Business Honors class was the team project. I was good at dissipating conflict and motivating my group to finish the jobs at hand, and to finish them well. After walking away from this experience, I know that whatever job I pursue in the future needs to have plenty of opportunities for teamwork, not only so I can showcase my skills, but also so I can learn how to work with even more people that are different from me.

 

The majority of my time this year has been spent putting almost all of my energy into my FLO, MSC FISH. FISH is a service organization, but is also very social. The nature of the FLO already makes FISH an intense commitment, but more than that, I loved what I was doing. Within FISH, I really worked to encourage the people around me and spread the sense of compassion that I felt really set our organization apart. Within the professional aspect of FISH, I worked to use what I was learning in my business classes to make my work with any businesses or service organizations as professional and productive as possible. I loved the work I got to do for FISH this year, and loved even more that it combined two of my favorite aspects thus far of college: business and people. However, I learned that at the end of they day, an organization is just that, an organization. I spent a lot of time and a lot of energy trying to be the best and brightest in an area of my life that didn't neccessarily call for that. Looking back, I know now that my main focus should be to do well with the opportunities and responsibilities I've been given now and my goals for the future. It is not my responsibility to make someone's world turn for them, or feel like the success of a multi-faceted program rests on my shoulders. My one aim presently is to discover the kind of person I am and to reflect upon my life's goals and how I choose to relate to the world. It is probably the most opportune time in my life for this reflection.

 

Looking towards my future at A&M, I want to remain involved in the MSC. I also want to continue to strive for the highest standard of academic excellence. I am looking forward to beginning work on my Capstone project for University Honors as well as pursuing a greater involvement in the business school. Ultimately, I hope that while at Texas A&M, I figure out what I want to do with my future, and I make the most of my time here.