How to Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age

by Dale Carnegie

 

August 2014

 

How to Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age, or what I have come to lovingly refer to as "How To Be a Good Person." I was encouraged throughout reading this book that the majority of the cases it examined were about businesses that were successful because the people who ran them did so ethically and thoughtfully. I was also encouraged by the fact that most of the advice in the book revolved around treating others with kindness and respect, and that true influence doesn't necessarily come from how many people you know, but how well you know them.

 

I thought that the book had interesting insights on how to apply business savvy that would come across easily in person to the digital world. I'm conscious of my demeanor when I interact with people on a day-to-day basis, especially in a more professional environment, but I had never considered that I could improve my relationships with people online simply by reaching out to them through social media.

 

I also loved how the book defined influence. That it is not just having a high number of followers or people who think highly of you. That true influence is a gift and responsibility - the gifts of the people you influence, and the responsibility to maintain those relationships in a way that benefits the both of you, especially the other person.The last part of that thought struck me the most. I think in a business environment it is all too easy to become too absorbed in the aspect of networking for our personal benefit. Instead, your presence in a conversation or in someone's life can serve as a way to benefit the both of you, and when you truly have influence over someone, you should be looking out for their best interest.

 

I felt that much of this book concentrated on the authenticity of the relationships you create with people. In every aspect, it seemed to shy away from acting out of self-interest, and for only doing things that would be considered "valuable" simply because they are valuable. I found that it encouraged again and again that the steps to become a better leader and better friend would only be successful if they were taken with intention and authenticity. 

 

Overall, I think the book was an insightful read, but I also felt that it put all the "life lessons" about how to treat others in one place. Be positive, be kind, be present with others and conscious of their lives. Accept fault where you are to blame, but don't point out the flaws in others. Praise and encourage those around you, and above all else do unto other what you would have others do unto you. How to Win Friends... served as a great reminder of the kind of person I want to be and the kind of life I want to live. It had thoughtful commentary on how to translate being a good person to an online presence, and provided interesting examples of some of its principles in real-world situations. It will definitely have a special place on my bookshelf and be handy to have when I need to be reminded that treating others with kindness and respect is the ultimate way to winning friends in this world.